Moving Day

9 1/2- hours left in Phoenix as a resident.

7 approximate hours I cried yesterday. Not so bizarre considering how many good friends I have here and how many memories I made here.

0 hours cried today (but I still have 9 hours here... give it some time).

2 hours yesterday spent at my hair lady's salon where my hair was subsequently died BLACK. BLACK, PEOPLE! Do you realize I have gone from blonde, to red, to brown and now to black? What is freaking going on?? And now I look like a freakin emo girl... I feel like I should paint my nails black, wear all black and put pink tips on the end of my hair to really fill the part.

0 hours spent at my hair lady's salon today. But don't worry that will change- I have an appointment in a half an hour to attempt to get it back to brown. Cross your fingers that it doesn't turn to red again.

5 number of days I have been without a clump of my eyelashes. Black hair and missing chunks of eyelashes go GREAT together. I look awesome.

24 hour road trip ahead of us- if we were driving straight through

1-the highway number we will be taking all the way up the California coast.

I start my move to Washington today. TODAY.

Um, holy freaking SHIT. Seriously.

Update: Spent two hours at the hair lady's salon today. I think it is now a nice shade of brown. She had to put BLONDE on it to get it to go lighter if that is any indication of just how black it was. And then, the craziest part- it was MY fault. I didn't tell her if "that time of the month was close or not." Because apparently 1) I am supposed to tell my f-ing hairdresser if I am on my period and 2) if it is close to that time of the month (which, granted, it is-sorry if that is too much information) then hair takes color a lot stronger. That is the stupidest thing I have honestly ever heard in my life. Because my period is a few days away, my hair turned black. That is ridiculous. Does anyone know if there is validity to this?

And still no crying. Whoo hoo! On a roll!! Now time to pack. Only 6 more hours.

Freaking Vanity

So yesterday morning, I'm getting ready for my (last!) day of work. Everything is going normally... I stumble out of bed and into the shower, put lotion on, brush out my hair, put clothes on, start the process of makeup.

I'm almost done with the makeup part of my routine and I'm finishing it up with curling my eyelashes. Now, I have to say, I've been intrigued with the damn eyelash curler since I was in about 5th grade. At first it was just a fascination with this crazy looking thing. It was like some funky medical tool that somehow was supposed to make me look prettier. And the craziest thing was that somehow this thing went by your eyes! Woah. 8 years later in high school, I finally caught on to what it was supposed to really do. I perfected the art of curling and it has been full on love ever since. Without curling, my eyelashes are long but they stick straight out. Trust me when I say it is not hot. Since I picked up the thing in 5th grade, my mom has always warned me about it and her experience of one time managing to pull out all of her eyelashes with the stupid thing. I didn't really pay attention because I've never pulled any eyelashes out.

Well, I'm not exactly sure what happened yesterday morning, but something made me jump while I was curling my eyelashes and GUESS.WHAT.FREAKING.HAPPENED!?

Yeah.

A chunk of my eyelashes fell out. I am now eyelash-less in the middle of my left eye. Big clump. Missing.

I googled eyelash growth and I am happy to report that it takes FOUR to EIGHT weeks for eyelashes to grow back. Ugh. Hello, fake eyelashes!

I hate it when my mom turns out to be right... even if it is 15 years later. But, mom, as an FYI, I still refuse to give up curling my eyelashes. Yes, I am that stubborn. I am dad's daughter, remember?! I just need to make sure going forward that, when performing the curling process, I am in a secure, soundproof location so that nothing can cause me to make sudden movements which in turn causes the poor little eyelashes to rip out which subsequently causes me to either 1) look like a freak show or 2) Have daily fights with fake eyelash glue. For four to eight weeks. Awesome.

Changes are a'brewin...

Last weekend my Seattle man flew in to help me move. We got the moving truck early Sunday morning, packed up my stuff, and he was on the road by himself-with all of my stuff- by 2pm that same day. [And, as a side note, he then drove the next 25 hours straight up to Seattle. Yes, I just gave an example of craziness in its finest form. But, I must also mention that it was the sweetest thing ever because now 1) My stuff is up in WA 2) My stuff is unpacked 3) Now we can travel up the beautiful coast of California and Oregon over the course of 4-5 days starting May 31 without worrying about being in a huge truck that is towing my car. I am a lucky girl. ]

After we got the moving truck, I led us home so that we could start loading the truck. The most bizarre thing happened: I started crying and I'm pretty sure I only stopped for a few brief periods throughout the day until I went to bed Sunday night. It was completely unrelated to hormones and more related to the fact that all of a sudden all of THIS- these huge, huge life changes- was reality, as evidenced by the mostly empty house. I was crying but I was both happy and sad. Sad to be leaving this place, happy to be going to a new place. Sad for some of the changes that occurred while I as in Phoenix, happy for the people that I've met and who I am today.

Tomorrow is my last day at work in Phoenix and I'm feeling sort of the same way. Happy and sad and it's unclear which emotion is more dominant. I'm mostly happy but still sad to be leaving the place that is familiar to me, the place that I know. Regardless of how exciting and fun it is to go to a new place, it is always somewhat intimidating to start over completely from scratch.

But next week, on Wednesday night, I will be driving west on the 10 and out of this place that is home to me, on my way to another place that will become home to me over time. It's a strange. That's really all I need to say is it is just flat out strange. Almost incomprehensible. It's so funny how things do or don't work out. And many people may not understand me or agree with decisions I've made in my life-particularly in the past few years, but the thing is that the future works out in a way that is perfect. Now is the future of my past and things have fallen into place in a way that I never in a million years would have expected but looking back I know I will say without a shadow of a doubt that it couldn't have worked out more perfectly. I am happy and I am at a place where I feel is right, where I am content.

The one thing that I am a firm believer of is that with anything in life, all you need is love- love for your work, your family, your spouse, yourself. You need a love and passion for all things- the kind of feeling that creates joy, that completes you, that makes you feel whole. It's a joy and a feeling that can never be asked to be anything more than it is and you know when you find it. The paradox is that what it is, is beyond imagining- it is real, true, and more powerful than anything else that exists in this world. I have never felt so sure of anything in my life and know that I am on my way to getting to this place of complete, utter joy. It doesn't mean that I am not sad to be leaving here (I most definitely am-I know I will cry even more in the next few days) but it means that I know that even though I don't know exactly what the future will be like in the place where I am going, I am making the decision that's right for me at this time in my life, and as a result, the future will work itself out in a way that is undeniably perfect.

From the city of transience to the city of rain?

Although by now most people are fully aware of what's going on in my life, for those who are unaware, I am moving to Seattle, WA at the end of this month. May 31 to be exact. As much as I have loved Phoenix, it has never felt permanent especially given the events that have gone down in my personal life, starting pretty immediately following my arrival to this city. Most people don't find roots in Phoenix and mostly everyone you meet along the way is from the Midwest, from the northwest, from Cali... anywhere but from here. And generally people come for a while, or they have vacation homes here, and then they leave. It really is the city of transience.

Seattle, to me, feels more like home. Maybe it's because everything surrounding my decision to move to Seattle has just fallen into place without any additional effort. Or maybe it reminds me of the Midwest- at least in respect to the green surroundings and friendly people who have lived there for more than a year. I'm not sure what exactly it is, but I feel home there. I also met a boy there, upon my return trip from Alaska. As much as I have wanted to discuss this for the past 6 months, I couldn't due to the fact that some other personal issues were not finalized. They are now. To try to describe how I feel about this person would not do my true feelings justice. I'm sure there will be more to come in posts down the road... so I won't gush now. I also love the organic lifestyle of the northwest and the fact that so much of life in the northwest revolves around the outdoors and the natural living, irregardless of the rain. I am kind of over some of the "fakeness" that I see in some certain parts of Phoenix. As a Midwest girl, that has never been my favorite thing about here. And also as a Midwest girl, I have to admit, I am a little sick of the brown.

I am so excited to be moving, to a place I love, to start fresh. Life is a journey- a journey full of choices, choices that not everyone will agree with, nor do they have to. It is a journey that takes you places that you never saw yourself going but once you are there, it makes so much sense that you wonder how you missed seeing it beforehand. As I recently discussed with a dear aunt, it is a journey filled with ups, downs, surprises, joys, sadnesses, beauty, and wonder. Mostly you hope to find beauty and wonder but sometimes you do have a little bit of the yuck in between. That is what makes the steps that you take even that much more meaningful. I can't wait to turn the page and open this next chapter of my life- I know that my friends and my experiences in all of the places I have been-the Midwest, Phoenix-will be the backbone sustaining me in my new life in Seattle and they will be with me all of the way- whether they are physically present or not. It is always an adventure... and I can't wait to see what's in store. I will always treasure Phoenix and my time here.

From the city of sun, the city of transience, the city of hot, warm winters with no rain:

To the city of beautiful nature- full of mountains, water, greenery, mild temperatures and yes, of course, some rain:

Transformations

From blondie.... To a brief stint (IE: one day) as a redhead (the picture is a reminder for the future if I ever think I want to be a redhead again, I will RUN)...

To the end result- life as a brunette!

I've never been a brunette before (at least not this dark) and I've been surprised by how much I like it. It started off as just a temporary change. I get bored and I like to mix it up a little. I've been growing my hair out for what feels like DECADES (even though it's only been a year and a half) so cutting it was out of the question. The first round, it was a nightmare. I was a redhead. But at least now I know what it feels like to be a redhead for a day and can honestly say, I'm never going down that road again. This is so much fun- it brings out my eyes and I've been surprised at how many compliments I've gotten. I assume that one day I'll go back to blonde but this is so fun for now- and with so many life changes going on right now, it seemed like the perfect time to make an image change as well. And really, it takes guts to make such a drastic change so when you're feeling it, you just have to buckle up and go with it!

Overheard...

Just now at the ghetto client's I'm at:

Hick lady with voice of a 60+ year smoker, whose name is Mary Lou, for the love of god and who also hacks and sneezes about 2.5 million times a day... it is absurdly annoying: Happy cinco de Mayo tomorrow!
Younger girl: What?
Hick lady: Happy cinco de mayo tomorrow!!
Younger girl: Tomorrow would be cinco de april.
Hick lady: No, it is cinco de mayo!! I am going to have me some salty marjoreeetahs (seriously how she pronounced margaritas).
Younger girl: No, mayo in spanish means may.
Hick lady: Oh, wow. Well that makes more sense then. Because Kenny Chensney is coming to town on Cinco de Mayo and they kept saying it was a friday and I kept getting confused because tomorrow is thursday.

Umm... seriously. You just have to shake your head sometimes.

Pondering the deeper questions of life

I have always been an independent person. Many people have their ideas about who I am... some are right, some are wrong, some are probably very subjective. I live in a way that is best for me. Not everyone may see it that way, especially on certain things, but I have to believe that at the end of the day each choice is a choice that I've made based on what is right for me in this path that I'm on in my life. I don't feel a need to justify any of the decisions I've made.

Going back to the first sentence: I'm very independent. I always have been. I remember growing up, I'd always get mad at my parents for trying to help me on my homework because, "Gosh darn it. I can freaking do it myself!!" Or something along those lines. Probably said meaner with the snobby teenage girl voice.

Now that I'm in my mid 20's I feel even more self sufficient. I have a career, I feel like I know who I am so much better than I did even two years ago, I feel like I have surrounded myself by a positive group of people. I am capable of supporting myself. I am self sufficient. I am strong. Earlier today, someone made an interesting comment to me. They said, "One day you will not want to be self sufficient." My initial reaction was confusion. HUH?! But then, I tried to think about this objectively. Could this person really be right? Could I really someday wish that I'm not who I am and crave dependency?

After I thought about it, I really think this comment is one of the more funny comments I've had anyone make to me. It speaks volumes about how little some people know about me and my personality. Maybe my aversion to never NOT wanting to be self sufficient is a generational thing. Maybe it has something to do with my stubbornness. I am perfectly content to be a partner to someone else and to be perfectly self sufficient in my relationships. I believe in 50-50 and I believe in sharing responsibilities. But to ever feel like I don't want to be self sufficient?

That's absolutely ludicrous.

Busy season: The fourth time around

Busy season is officially underway and when I look at my calendar now, I only see the next 15 weeks as nothing but some form of hell. There are and will be many invigorating days where I know I will go to sleep at night thinking that somehow, someway, in my job I am doing something good for someone. But I know that at the end of it all, I am going to be exhausted from trying to remain so focused for such an extensive amount of time. For the next 15 weeks, each and every day on my calendar has a little pink box on it telling me where I'm supposed to be, what client I'm supposed to be working on. There are no blank days. Next month, if someone can get me a blank day, I would probably be willing to give up my left pinky toe in exchange. I mean that is a huge sacrifice- part of my body for a free day!? Well, ok, so I'm not exactly sure yet if that would be a deal. Ask me in a few weeks.

Up until this week, I've been very busy but it hasn't seemed that bad. Granted, I had to stop going to my class and I work on average from 7am to 9pm every day but it was tolerable. Until this weekend. I spent most of yesterday in the office and all day today working at home. And then I opened my calendar. That's when I saw all of the little pink boxes lined up, mocking me.

In busy season, we are trained to be "professional focusers." I don't really know that focusers is a word, much less a job description, but you get the point. Anything unrelated to work basically goes out the window. So far this year, I've still managed to hang out with my friends at least one time a weekend but that will dwindle down as deadlines start to get more prominent over the next few weeks. We will all lose a little bit of touch until around April when we start to feel more like we're on the downslide and we'll look at each other and say, "Damn. It's been a while." And then we'll move on from there as if we didn't just lose two months of our life to work. It's good to have friends who are in public accounting as well because there is a certain level of understanding already there about what we go through this time of year that we have to explain to our friends not in public accounting.

I am getting to be a veteran at this busy season gig. It's my fourth one- I spent two in tax, this is my second in audit. Audit busy seasons are longer- mine went through the end of May last year- but the hours we work are also drawn out over this period of time where tax people cram all these hours into a shorter amount of time. I have to say, I'm down with the audit side of things.

Now that I just sufficiently spent 20 minutes posting about work, I guess it's time to get back to work...

You just have to shake your head sometimes

On my way to work this morning I saw a bumper sticker that read, "I used to be normal... now I'm natural."

Whatever that means, I don't think I want to know. Judging by the look of the person driving the car with said sticker, I would say that, yes, I was definitely scared.

I love my girls.

Jessica, Jaimi, and I
Cracking up at who knows what- Pam, me, Jess

Jess, Jaimi, Pam, and I

The above pictures are of the three girls that I have become rather close to in Arizona. We met through work, although now we probably see each other more outside of work than at work since we all do different things in our firm. Two of us are from Missouri, one of us is from Wisconsin, and one of us if from Oregon. It may seem strange that we all met in Phoenix but it's really not given that probably 70% of the people in Phoenix are not from here. These women are so amazing... we have such a good time together, laughing, talking, supporting each other. They are the kind of friends that I know I will have 50 years from now, regardless of where we are in our respective lives. The pictures above are just a few from our latest outing last Friday night. As always, it was so fun, mostly because I was with them and everything is more fun when we're all together.

Nose piercing

I did this the first week of January. I really like it... I've been wanting to do it for a while. The only scary thing was that I didn't really think about any of the consequences. I did it on a Saturday night and had to give a presentation in front of all of the partners at my job at work on monday. I didn't know if the nose ring would fly given that I'm in a very conservative profession. Needless to say, I appparently had no reason to worry. All of the comments I've gotten on it have been very positive. It's fun for the time being, anyway.

It's been a while.

I know. Life has gotten somewhat strange and somewhat crazy lately. It's nothing I care to discuss here, but I am still alive and will be back soon.

Merry Christmas!

Hope everyone has a wonderful day spending time with family and friends.

More to come soon- I promise- on the Seattle leg of my northland trip and holiday party pics.

Adventures in the Northland

My trip up north was incredible. I loved every minute of it. I really didn't know what to expect seeing as how I was just going on rumors of what Alaska was supposedly like. It actually wasn't that cold. I packed long underwear and layers upon layers that I didn't end up needing to wear. The thing about Alaska is that it is so pure, so beautiful. There is a natural beauty there that I don't think people can really comprehend unless they've been there in person. People up there refer to it as the 'last frontier' and I would wholeheartedly agree with that. It is absolutely breathtaking.

I spent a few days in Anchorage, a city that I would say is a comparable size to Des Moines plus looming, gorgeous mountains and the ocean that you would never see in Des Moines. It's pretty small but it's the biggest city in Alaska. I met a few really cool people who I hope to keep in touch with. People up there are very friendly and open.

I then spent the last leg of my trip in Girdwood, Alaska which is approximately 40 minutes away from Anchorage. The drive to Girdwood is possibly the prettiest drive I have ever been on and the quaint town of Girdwood is stunning. It is a little ski town nestled in the mountains. In the summer, you can see glaciers from the top of a mountain in Girdwood. I cannot do it justice just to say it was beautiful.

The reason I went to Girdwood is one of my old friends from high school is living and working there right now. He went to school in San Franciso and then got transferred to Girdwood. Seeing him made the trip more special and unique just because I got to meet a lot of people through him, see the town in ways I probably wouldn't have otherwise, and most importantly I got to catch up with him since we haven't seen each other in literally years.

My adventure coming home kind of sucked but I will write about that more in my next post. And as soon as I have pictures, I will post them. Even though I had no desire to ever go to Alaska, I'm now thinking that I have to definitely get back there sometime. And I would highly recommend that everyone go up there at least once in their lifetime. You'll be amazed.

Alaska? Really? Um...yeah. I guess so.

Once again I find myself here a month after my last post apologizing that I don't post more. I always intend to, I just don't. I guess that's something that myself and my three readers will just have to accept.

I have a lot to post... including mostly pictures from my holiday party last weekend. Unfortunately, I can't do that now as all of the pictures are on my home computer and right now I am sitting in the airport on my laptop waiting to catch my flight to Anchorage, Alaska.

HUH?!

Yeah.

My reaction, too. I am going up there today through Friday... a little bit of work and a little bit of fun. I scheduled my trip for a couple of extra days so that I could see what this place is all about since I really have never had any desire to go up there before and I doubt I will again. Might as well explore it now that I have the opportunity.

I am pretty much prepared to absolutely freeze my ass off. Fortunately, I managed to find my loooonng woal coat leftover from my Iowa days that I got literally about two months prior to deciding to move to Phoenix. Needless to say, it hasn't been used much but I can almost guarantee I am going to be in love with this coat by the end of this week.

Anyway, I really have no idea what to expect up there. I feel like I am going to the Artic circle or something. It could be interesting. I'm also going to be seeing Seattle for a day or so... I have an overnight layover there and should have time to explore that city, too. I'll keep everyone posted on the adventures...

This post would be better with a picture...

But I haven't had a chance to take one.

The other day I had surgery. Intense, scary surgery.

Ok, so maybe I just had a mole removed. BUT. Can I just tell you that it hurt like f-ing hell?! And I now have stitches in my body where a chunk of skin was ripped out?

I was extremely scared before the surgery though because the doctor comes in (after I wait for 40 minutes) saying that he just caused a cyst to explode on him in another procedure he was performing. For sake of conversation and not really knowing what to say I asked, "well how does that happen?" And he says, "if you're not careful and you puncture it." Well, fantastic. So you're telling me that you were just NOT careful with the patient before me and you are going to proceed to cut me open? That makes me feel so. much. better.

Needless to say, it ended up ok with nothing bursting like the cyst dude before me. And now at least that sucker won't give me skin cancer.

A cold day in Phoenix

This morning I got into my car and turned the heater on, along with the heated seats.

Attire: black, wool turtleneck sweater, wool pants, black closed toe shoes.

When I get to the clients, the heater is on. It remains on all day.

The high temperature outside today, you ask? 90.

No joke.

90 degress is apparently our 60 degrees. So weird.

Swan Lake

This week has been insane. In fact, I think I say that every week now. Can I just have a chill week? It's been fun, though.

Last night I went with a couple of friends to the ballet, Swan Lake. It was beautiful... I haven't been to a ballet since I went to the Nutcracker a few years ago and I had forgotten how much I thoroughly enjoy going.

I almost died in the ghetto on the way TO the ballet. There was a suns game last night and being the idiot that I sometimes am, I forgot that I have to have cash to park in downtown Phoenix. Hello. So I had to find an ATM machine somewhere in the ghetto. I ended up at Walgreens at 7th Street and Thomas, which, if you know Phoenix, you know that it's a little sketchy there. I then proceeded to continue my smartness by taking back roads back to 3rd street and Washington (the nice part of downtown by the stadiums, symphony hall, etc). I especially loved the part where I drove by houses with police tape around them. Needless to say, I felt like quite the urbanite. The inner city girl in me certainly came out. After finally getting cash, we met at Kincaids, had a glass of wine and some brie cheese, and then walked to the ballet. At the end of the day, the ballet was absolutely superb. I was extremely impressed with the Arizona Ballet company.

Halloween Weekend 2006

This weekend has been so much fun! Much better than the 40+ hour of studying weekend last weekend. Friday, I met my girlfriend Kelly for sushi. Then I ventured to my cousin's Halloween party that I decided to go to last minute. Of course, it was a rash decision after another happy hour I was supposed to go to got cancelled so I didn't have a costume. I was endlessly harassed but it was all good. Very fun, needless to say. Then some other people I knew were having a party so I dropped by there to visit. Next thing I knew, it was 4 a.m. I gotta say, I haven't had a night like that for a LONG time. I got up yesterday morning at 9 a.m. and went straight to my friend Melissa's house for a pumpkin carving brunch. I was pretty exhausted but it was a fun brunch with a great group of friends. The pumpkin carving was about like I remember it- gooey. Creative people probably like carving pumpkins but for the people like me in the world who only do the triangle face pumpkins, it's not so hot. But, like I said, the company was well worth it.

After that I headed home and then turned right back around to go to the infamous annual Halloween party hosted by this guy at my work. This party I was actually prepared for- I had my costume (rainbow brite- who I IDOLIZED as a kid) all lined up. My friend Carolyn came with me. She and I have known each other since grade school but haven't seen each other since high school graduation. I learned recently from a mutual friend that she is out here now (recently moved) and so we met once for sushi and then I invited her to come along with me to this. I think she had a pretty good time... everyone loved her! The party was a lot of fun... people are so creative with their costumes! I can't wait until Halloween next year (or maybe next weekend... I heard there are more Halloween parties)... it is so fun!

Rainbow Brite, ghost girl, and swede fighter guy aka me, Jaimi, Ryan